Audrey Can't Die

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Basic Info
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Edit Basic InfoGenre:RockMembers:Rob, Bobby, Gary, Phil and JohnHometown:BillericaRecord Label:Leeland Did ItCurrent Location:Billerica, Ma.Detailed Info
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EditEdit Detailed InfoWebsite:http://virb.com/audreycantdieInfluences:The ABC’s of A.C.D., as compiled by B.A., FYI….

A – Audrey Can’t Die…..That is the name of this band. It’s a Twin Peaks reference of some kind, but I wouldn’t know anything about that. What I DO know is that I have never made it a secret that I have hated this name from the get-go. Even before I was in the band I tried to talk them out of it. In 2002 my other band played a show with ACD, and just after soundcheck I had a drunken conversation with them about the name that went like this:

Me: ….Seriously, what fuckin’ kid is going to scratch the words “Audrey Can’t Die” into his desk during math class?

Brian Panzeri (former ACD drummer): Well what kid is going to scratch “Kinnar” into a desk?

Me: If any of you guys have little sisters in high school I bet they’re doing it right now.

(Silence…ACD guys look at each other)

Rob: But it’s 10:30 on a Saturday night.

Me: (Speechless shake of the head to show my continued disapproval)


B – B.A……that is me. I have been the drummer for ACD since 2007. I am known for 3 things in this band. 1) My sweet beard. 2) My tree-trunk drumsticks. 3) Excessive handsomeness.

B2 – Beer - See S for more information.

B3 – Backstage Rehearsal Studios. - The shithole in which we practice. My spell check doesn’t recognize shithole, but that is because the folks at Microsoft have never been to the Billerica Backstage Rehearsal Studios.

C -- Couch – Alt Countryish song off of the “Incredible Belief in Lies” album. In this track, Rob proclaims he “sleeps on the couch, ‘cause it only fits one, and that’s me.” Shortly after writing this song, Rob discovered vaginas, and no longer prefers to sleep on couches that only fit him.

C2 – Current lineup. A lot of names get tossed around in this bio, so to make it clear, the current lineup of this band is, Rob, guitar & vox, John, guitar backing vox, & keyboard, Gary, bass & backing vox, B.A. drums.

D - Dan Kump. Former guitarist for ACD. Dan is known for 3 things in A.C.D. (1) Playing barefoot (2) Spreading foot fungus (3) …and I’m sure nobody in ACD would make the connection, but I knew Dan way back in first grade, and I first saw Night of the Living Dead while sleeping over his house in 3rd grade. I was scared shitless. I literally had no shit left. (It was a colorized version too on Creature Double Feature, which was unbelievably shitty looking, even to my 3rd grade nearsighted eyes.)

E- Edgar Allen. Edgar Allen is a track off of the Waving at Parked Cars album. Edgar is my favorite song to play live because I get carried away and push it too far until it feels like a train going off the tracks. I assume it is named after Edgar Allen Poe, but I hope it’s named after Edgar and Allen Frog, from The Lost Boys. Probably not though.

E2 – Evos Arts – Evos Arts (formerly Smithwick’s) was a bar in Lowell in which Audrey and our cohorts had a pretty impressive little music scene happening for a couple of years. When we weren’t playing there, we were all drinking there, and sometimes throwing up on the cobblestone outside afterwards. Eventually the place was sold, and turned into lofts or a batcave or something. I haven’t been, so I’m not sure which is true.

F- Fallout Shelter – Live from the Fallout Shelter is a college radio show that airs Monday nights on WUML. ACD has played a few times, though back then the station was called WJUL. Copies of the recording are out there, and can be attained with little effort. (And a D cup or higher would certainly speed things up a bit.)

F2 – Footnote - A footnote is a note of text placed at the bottom of a page in a book or document. The note comments on and may cite a reference for part of the main body of text. A footnote is normally flagged by a superscript number following that portion of the text the note is in reference to. I have included a footnote at the end of this bio for reference.

G- Gary Nigg. Gary is the current bass player for ACD. Three things Gary is known for are (1) His sweet dance moves (2) His affection for rubber chickens (3) The fact that he is the perviest member in the history of ACD, and possibly the history of mankind.

H- Home recording. While not necessarily “home”, we are completely self sufficient, and record on our own in our practice space, which frees us from money and time constraints, and outside interference that comes with paying for studio time. How’s that for a run-on sentence?

I- Incredible Belief in Lies…2005 album from Audrey Can’t Die, and their first foray into the world of self-recording. John, Gary and I didn’t play on this album, but it’s pretty Boss Hog nonetheless. Whatever that means.

J- Jameson Whiskey. And lots of it.

K- Kolakowski, John…John is the current guitar player, backup vocalist, and sometimes keyboard player for ACD. John is known for (1) His 436 effects pedals, (2) His excessive niceness that has no place in rock, (3) His wizardry in the areas of recording and mixing which can be heard on our newest album.

L- Lowell, Mass – The home base of the band if you will. Will you? Sweet.

M- Mass, Billerica – Hometown to 3 out of 4 of us, and the location of our rehearsal space. See B3 for more info.

M2 – Mickey’s Pub – (formerly Sangria’s) A bar in Lowell that has recently become our home venue for live shows, and where one or more of us can be found fairly frequently.

N- Nook- The band which Audrey Can’t Die rose from the ashes of like the Phoenix. Well…..not so much like a phoenix, but more like an inebriated dodo bird. We’re also bird-like in that while you were reading this, we just shit on your car.

O- Other bands some of us were or are in – Rob was in Nook, The Impulse, 3DND. Gary was in 3DND, Bryan Panzeri is now in California drumming for Bobot Adrenaline, B.A. was in i.Valdeva, and is now in Kinnar, and The Invisible Japanese Gentlemen. Jay – was in Teacup, and Nook, John was in Shoot the Boot and Victoria’s Secret Service and is in Kinnar.

P- Pierce, Rob….Rob Pierce is the singer, guitar player, and songwriter of ACD. He is the only current member that has been in the band since the beginning. Rob is known for (1) His prolific output of songs (2) His prolific intake of beer (3) Smashing Gibson SG’s and regretting it before the first splinter hits the ground.

Q- Quick Pocket Jury. (Rob’s take on it) It’s the third song written when the band was getting started. It was first released on a three song demo that almost didn’t get made as Dan had decided to leave the band, putting the fate of ACD in limbo. Had our friend Nick not convinced Rob that we should still go ahead and record this song, ACD would probably not exist.

Q2 – Quick Pocket Jury (BA’s two cents)…Before I was in the band, this was their big rock song. Not that me joining the band has made them more rock (yes it has), but when I watched them play it live it was uptempo, catchy, and slightly more power-rock than anything else they played at the time, and I was always psyched when that first guitar line kicked in. I actually played guitar on it for one show, when I was about to become ACD’s 2nd guitarist, but at the time I couldn’t match my schedule to theirs.

The next time I saw them play it was at O’Briens, with their new guitarist (John), and I had been awake for two days and was with the Kinnar guys and therefore drunk. They switched the 2nd guitar to an acoustic, and I wasn’t having it. After the show I told Rob he better stop “pussing up” the song and plug back in.

I felt bad about it the next day, but I have never apologized or anything. And I won’t. Because I was right and we all know it.

P.S. I play this song at about twice the speed it’s supposed to be, and I never realized it until I listened to the recording a couple of weeks ago.


R- Rev. Jason Boutwell…former bass player for ACD known for (1) His ever growing number of intricate tattoos (2) His gas problem (3) His refusal to except that he has a gas problem.

R2 - Remixes and Rarities – We have an album of remixes and rarities that will be out in the near future featuring remixes from John, Dee Tension, Dr. Zoom, Andrew Sutherland, and some ACD songs that have never been released.

S- Sam Adams…the official drink of ACD. Not official in the sense that we are endorsed, but if Jim Koch happens to read this, call our agent and we will work something out. (FYI…our agent will in fact be me disguising my voice to make it appear as if we have an agent, so don’t try to screw with me…I mean him. The bottom line is,…free beer. Glad we could work something out.)

T- Tim Waltner – former bass player for Audrey, as well as a fine engineer, booker, soundman, and good friend to all of us.

U- “Ummmmmmmmmmm….” My response when people ask what band I play drums for, and I don’t want to say the name.

V- V is for Volkswagen, and is referenced in the song Killing Time off of our album Waving At Parked Cars. It is the only time a specific car company has been mentioned in a song, and does not necessarily endorse said car manufacturer. If we were going to endorse a car, it wouldn’t even be a car…it would be V for Vespa. Not only just the Vespa, but I fully endorse any of you to start a vespa gang that wears Viking helmets. (Not the football team you dildo). It has been a dream of mine for years. We’ll talk about this next time we see each other.


W - Waving at Parked Cars…the newest ACD album, recorded in our practice space. It’s pretty bomb and we know about shit like this, so take our word for it.

X - Xanadu….Gary’s favorite film and soundtrack. I didn’t know this until recently, but it explains why he wears roller skates and Jack Tripper short shorts to practice.

Y- Year – How long it took to record the last album.

Z - Zoot Suit Riot. Rob’s favorite song of all time.


1 This is the footnote I promised you in F2. I always keep my promises.



Band Interests:Audrey Can’t Die

Audrey Can’t Die was formed in 2003 when Rob Pierce wanted to take his music in a new direction from his previous band. He was joined by Jason Boutwell on bass, Bryan Panzeri on drums, and Dan Kump on guitar. Their self titled, independently released record shortly thereafter was well received and Audrey Can’t Die was viewed as an emerging talent in the growing music scene in the Lowell area.
“College Pop & rock group Audrey Can't Die, whose name is derived from David Lynch's early 90's cult classic Twin Peaks, continue to make their presence felt throughout the Boston scene. Taking lead from Boston’s great Pixies all the way to Chicago's Wilco, Audrey Can't Die produce a raw, powerful sound all their own.” – CD Baby
In 2004, Audrey Can’t Die released their 2nd album, “Incredible Belief in Lies” which was self produced in their own rehearsal studio. This album took a new direction and featured a varying mix of material, drawing influences from Guided By Voices, Wilco, Nirvana, and Buffalo Tom. Audrey Can’t Die promoted their new record heavily, playing many venues in Boston and appearing on WJUL and Pixy 103. It was around this time that John Kolakowski joined the group to replace the departing Dan Kump.
Two years later in 2006, Audrey’s drummer Bryan Panzeri left Audrey to pursue a music career in California. After many auditions, Audrey found its perfect match in Bobby Ackroyd, who coincidentally is the leading front man of another local band, Kinnar. With their lineup once again complete, Audrey began work on their next record in January of 2008. This record would again be self produced, but this time would feature a more detailed and polished sound. In December of that year, Audrey Can’t Die released “Waving at Parked Cars” and received high praise from critics.
“At a time when rhythm reigns on the radio, we sometimes forget the subtle power of a great melody. Until we hear one. Throw in the lush guitar work of John Kolakowski, Rob Pierce’s poignant and poetic lyrics and pleading vocals, and you get a rock album that seduces, grabs and holds on long after the first listen.” - Peter Lavender, Lowell Sun
As the record neared completion, original member Jason Boutwell decided to leave the band to devote more time to his growing family. His void was filled when long time friend Gary Nigg agreed to join the group. Gary’s familiarity with the band’s material and his meticulous attention to detail allowed Audrey to pick up exactly where they left off and promote their new record.
In early 2009, Bobby left the band and Audrey found a new drummer in Phil McKay. Phil was currently playing with Kinnar and Ichabod, and his unique style created a new spark that has really elevated their live performances.
In 2010 Audrey is currently playing many different venues and attracting new fans everywhere they go. They look to release a new record in early 2011.
Their music is available on iTunes and www.audreycantdie.com




Review of Waving at Parked Cars:
If there were any justice in the world some A&R rep (do they even exist anymore?), some DJ, or some indie movie director would take one listen to the latest offering from Audrey Can’t Die, pick up the phone and start getting this band the national recognition they deserve. Waving at Parked Cars, the band’s third album IS that good. At a time when rhythm reigns on the radio, we sometimes forget the subtle power of a great melody. Until we hear one. Throw in the lush guitar work of John Kolakowski, Rob Pierce’s poignant and poetic lyrics and pleading vocals, and you get a rock album that seduces, grabs and holds on long after the first listen. From the hook laden opening Silent to the closing drinking anthem Please Don’t, the songs are laced with a suburban disconnect that is both comforting and disquieting. At the heart of the album though are the three songs that should catapult Audrey into the limelight: Dig; Killing Time; and Beebe Gun. Listen to Rob Pierce’s wounded falsetto in Beebe Gun followed by the reflective lyric “Regret is the best I can do” and you’ll see why. Audrey fans have had to wait three years for a new record. But one thing’s for certain; she’s never been more alive. - Audiofloss - Peter Lavendar